As media theorist Jason Adams notes in his book “Occupy Time: Technoculture, Immediacy and Resistance after Occupy Wall Street,” as far back as ancient Greece, leaders were expected to embody moral norms through private moderation and public virtue.Nowadays, Adams argues, social media has made us all into public figures, thus subjecting us to high expectations all the time.Call-outs were designed to hold people accountable, not drive them from the premises.Yet with the rise of social media sites like Reddit, Twitter and Facebook, a more self-congratulatory, shame-perpetuating style of call-out has emerged.We can be “intersectional feminists” while also understanding that many of the white men we date have no idea how to be of use to movements like Black Lives Matter or how to advocate for reproductive justice, even when they want to.I don’t see how anything can improve — be it unfulfilling love lives or more severe social issues — if we can’t even begin by recognizing each other’s humanity.Now that he’s been publicly humiliated by feminists, will he be loath to believe in feminism’s goals?In the end, doesn’t this just breed more mistreated women? One thing I know: Empathy is not a finite resource.
This was Lindy West’s recent argument in the New York Times.
To some extent, this hypersensitivity is a positive change.
But the hopefulness I feel wanes when I realize how many single men change their behavior merely to decrease the potential of a date-ending call-out, not because they actually care to empathize with my position as a woman.
When I’m out with a man who’s timid for fear of being called out, it’s just more fakeness to sift through as I date.
With daters of different races, it can get even harder to determine who’s genuinely woke and who’s just afraid of being called racist.