Dating off craigslist
I’ve noticed that there’s a topic that comes up repeatedly when it comes to talking about dating issues, whether it’s about the problems with being a Nice Guy, online dating, or even just approaching new people: the idea that women hold all of the power in dating.They are The Choosers, the gatekeepers to the Promised Land, cruel temptresses who taunt men by being attractive and yet unavailable.And to be perfectly honest, people can be pretty damn shallow have.They tend to believe that they deserve a smoking hottie, a perfect 10 regardless of their own looks, wealth, lifestyle or personality.QED: all women want are hot assholes, not nice guys who may not be the social ideal. Ugly men do not get girlfriends or wives.” And yet somehow Patton Oswalt is happily married with a lovely daughter. For that matter, we can add Dennis Kucinich, Woody Allen, Henry Kissinger…Look around and all you see are beautiful people fucking other beautiful people while wonderful – if less facially gifted – men are stuck home alone. In fact, the “ugly guy pulling hot women” trope is so well known that TVTropes has an entry on it. It’s the 21st century, a post-Third Wave Feminist era.Johnny Pick-Up Line with the over-greased hair and the Affliction tee may be ready and eager to be the droid she’s looking for, but the fact that he’s willing to bang in fact, a buyer’s market for women.In online dating, for example, the number of men on dating sites tends to easily outnumber the women.
The problem with asking this question is that it assumes that women and men have the same goals when it comes to sex.Because sex is so much more easily attainable for women – or so the conventional wisdom goes – they have luxury of being able to define the standards which men must meet, wantonly cutting off men who are not rich, tall douchebags with square jaws and fast cars.Men feel helpless; they feel that they are forced to leap through hoops in order to win women’s approval and hope that she will pick him against all odds. In fact, not only is the idea that women somehow control all the power in sex and dating not true, but it’s a case of people asking the wrong question.The problem is that this falls under what’s known as the confirmation bias: the tendency to only believe evidence that validates an already existing belief. Before you start, let me forestall the inevitable “Great, so you don’t have to be hot, you just have to be powerful/rich/more talented than God”. They have passion in their life and know how to convey it. They can make women laugh, feel special without putting them on a pedestal and yet not come across as needy. Women are closer to true social equality than ever before: wages are growing closer to parity, women outnumber men in college attendance and are achieving leadership positions in corporations and government in ways that previous generations could only dream of.There is far more to attraction than looks – though they help – or being in the rarified 1% of money, talent or fame. And yet men have to do all the work when it comes to courtship.