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Jesus said if we don't forgive, God won't forgive us (Matthew -15).
That doesn't mean that forgiving others is a way of getting God to forgive us, which we know is by grace alone, but instead it means that a forgiving heart is a sign of the presence of the Holy Spirit working inside a true believer.
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Ideally, a Christian relationship or marriage will start with both people as virgins, because in God's eyes, marriage is the only place for sex. You may have been raised in a godly home, got saved at a young age, and you were able to maintain your physical purity as a virgin.
The guy I’d been seeing sporadically for months was truly special, a kind boy with chocolate-brown eyes and that boyish shyness I couldn’t get enough of. When I confirmed it, I asked him why he was surprised.
He told me about his past sexual history, that he and his girlfriend had waited for each other, and that she was the only one he’d ever been with. I was expecting him to say that I didn’t seem like the “type,” or else ask me personal questions about whether or not I was waiting for marriage or something. I guess I just thought it would have happened for you already.” It was such a simple statement, so straightforward and honest. His response made me realize I was expecting judgment; and when I didn’t get it, I felt much more confident about my choice, as if it truly were “normal.” More than that, I trusted him not to pressure me, and it was actually his idea to wait until we were absolutely sure about each other.
Hesitantly, with my head on his shoulder in his big wide bed, I all but whispered the words, “I’ve never had sex before.” Nervous about his response, I expected shock, discomfort, misunderstanding. When that time never came, I was in the unexpected position of not wanting to wait anymore.
I felt like I had found something, and even though it ended, I knew that I wanted something like it again: with someone to trust, someone to love, and someone to share this experience with.
So at 16, I thought I had it all figured out: find someone special and all the pieces will fit together (pun intended). In my freshman year I dated this guy who seemed perfect: sweet, smart, and handsome, the whole deal.
Ephesians 2:8-9 says, "By grace you have been saved through faith; and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God; not as a result of works, that no one should boast." When we truly understand what it means to be forgiven, we start seeing how much God loves us, and that helps us forgive other people by extending the same kind of grace.
That means that we let go of their past, we don't hold it against them, and try to see them as a new creation (2 Corinthians ).
I’d met this pushy guy at a bar and he proceeded to text me nonstop for two weeks, trying to glean every bit of information about me all the while informing me what a catch he was. At that time, I wished there were a middle-finger emoji to send him.
I was in a post-breakup downswing of emotions so I probably should have kicked him to the curb a lot sooner, but when the subject of sexual partners came up, I was craving acceptance enough to tell him—a virtual stranger—that I was still a virgin. But I also just felt drowned in shame and embarrassment, and despair that I would ever again be in a position to not feel that way about my virgin status. They’ve made me happy despite the complications, and I feel like I haven’t betrayed who I am.